I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I forgot how hot balto sounded
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
