If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
