he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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