I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
