So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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