we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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