Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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