he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
