I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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