If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I look better un-naked...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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