Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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