**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
