Whats the count minus fat chicks?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
