Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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