no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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