Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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