Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
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