thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
