If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
