4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
