Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
