he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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