im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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