Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
