A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
id be glad to
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize