idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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