I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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