i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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