so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
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I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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