All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
