Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
