quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
