this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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