Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
