Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
