You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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