She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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