EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
