I puked a lego.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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