If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
