we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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