Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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