just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize
