I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
