Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
