I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
