jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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