The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
