We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
