she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
