You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize