I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
