He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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