So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i think i have two assholes
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
