At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize