It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
