Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
