I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
