Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
i've created a new STD.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
