dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
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No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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