Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
