So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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