Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
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He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
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Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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