I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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